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Get 'Em While They're Young |
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Written by Aaron Cynic
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During the 1988 presidential election, I was in middle school. Back then, I did what all good children do during an election - I voted in the mock election for the same guy my parents were voting for. Well, at least, the candidate my mom was voting for. She swayed me by reminding me I went to a Catholic school and good Catholics were voting for Bush the elder because he was pro-life. My dad on the other hand just couldn't sway me for Dukakis. In fact, I don't think anyone could find him warm and fuzzy after that shot in the tank.
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Punk and Beans - An Interview |
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Written by Aaron Cynic
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Whenever my mp3 adapter in my car breaks, I'm forced to turn the dials over and over to find something I can tolerate listening to. With every FCC approved media merger, content options on the radio seem smaller than ever. The best I can do is the local "alternative rock" station or maybe NPR. Thankfully, the Internet birthed its own form of radio. While the RIAA and major corporations play catch up with downloaded music and big radio plays more and more of the same songs, people are increasingly turning to streaming audio over iTunes, Windows Media Player, and many other websites.
Creating an Internet radio station can be done simply and easily, with a limited amount of equipment and technical knowledge. A couple old friends of mine got together and created a station they call "Punk and Beans Radio," based out of a house in Manhattan, IL. I sat down with Steve, one of the creators of the station, for a few minutes to talk about the show.
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Written by Uncle Goat
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As reported in the Goat and other publications, the oceans are getting more acidic, the ice caps are melting, the weather patterns are changing threatening agriculture across the globe, and everything connected with Man is about to come to a terrible crash between the years 2025 and 2050. We?re seeing the trouble in Africa, where war and water shortages are moving hand in hand, in Australia currently going through the worse drought they?ve experienced in a thousand years, in Asia, North and South America rivers dependent upon glaciers are going to be running dry.
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Hastert and Lott Announce Joint Business Plan |
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Written by Uncle Goat
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J Dennis Hastert, (R-IL) and Trent Lott, (R-MS) both announced they would resign from Congress and plan on opening up a bed and breakfast near Shrevepoint, Louisiana.
?Trent is a beautiful man,? Hastert confided. ?We?ve been together for thirty years and this has been a long time dream of ours.?
Lott, known to be combative, confused and conflicted with a wide range of issues was quick to point out this ?is purely a business venture. There?s nothing queer about it. You won?t see pictures of us hugging and kissing and rolling around on the floor like a pair of hillbilly pigs stoned on cocaine and lubricating jelly.?
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Better Fake Journalism Than The Daily Show |
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Written by Aaron Cynic
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I learned more about the California wildfires from Google maps than I did from FEMA, even before the agency staged a fake news conference. In what FEMA later called a "mistake," the government agency responsible for rescuing its citizens from emergency pulled together its own employees and had them pose questions to Deputy Administrator Harvey Johnson. While FEMA later went on to apologize for the incident, saying that it was a stunt that "will not be tolerated or repeated," even the White House gave them a public finger wagging.
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VHEMT -- Voluntary Human Extinction Movement |
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Written by Grant Schreiber
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Okay, here?s the drill: too many people using too many resources damaging the planet beyond hope of repair. And here?s the VHEMT ? pronounced ?vehement? -- solution: stop breeding. Their motto of ?May We Live Long and Die Off? is charmingly simple. By all means, live your life, (in an ecological friendly manner), have as much sex as you want, but don?t reproduce.
The idea is that war, disease and famine are only temporary and almost always result in more people making more babies and ever more demands upon the planet. But by choosing to not have any children, the cycle is broken. As the population dwindles away, people will move to smaller and smaller centers, using less by virtue of there being less people. Nature would recover as forests would be left alone, farms would go wild, suburbs and small towns would be abandoned.
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Written by Aaron Cynic
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The news media usually does a fabulous job of creating mountains out of mole hills. To continue with the cliche's, this week's flop of a controversy - "pin gate," is no exception. Plenty of pundits, journalists, and politicians work round the clock digging up mud to sling at each other. The most routine mud ball to throw is the one that calls a candidate's patriotism into question.
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Uncle Sam and the Generation Gap |
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Written by Aaron Cynic
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Uncle Sam really wants to get to get to know today's kids. Millennials (or Generation Y, the Internet Generation, etc) are an "alien life force," according to a recent PowerPoint presentation delivered at the Navy's Annual Workforce Research and Analysis Conference. While the presentation delivers plenty of ironic comedy, it also does a great job of showing just how out of touch generations are with each other and with the world at large. |
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These late breaking stories just in!! |
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Written by Grant Schreiber
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Lack of rain in Southeast affects crops, Paris Hilton.
Less rain means fewer peaches from Georgia and it is very possible Paris Hilton will have to pay more for peach jam this coming fall. Not that Paris Hilton needs to shop for food or even has to spread jam all by herself on the toast, but we will follow this story closely as it develops.
Hurricane Season Expected "To be highly active"
A couple of weather experts and storm watchers predict that the 2007 hurricane season will be "really interesting" with lots of destroyed homes, downed trees and footage of the ever popular "boat-tossed-by-storm-onto-the-highway." There will be a couple of deaths, a story of a dog or cat which miraculously survived and several stories of people too stupid to know any better hoping to "rebuild their community even stronger than before."
So it will be pretty much like an evening with Paris Hilton. |
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The Grim Questions We Must Face |
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Written by Aaron Cynic
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My mom called me the other day to ask me if I heard about the Virginia Tech shootings. That particular day I wasn't paying a lick of attention to the news wires that worm their way into my computer and I don't normally watch television news, so it was quite a shocking surprise when I clicked and found that over 30 people had been killed in the worst school massacre ever. Like most parents, her cares and concerns were oriented towards myself and my brother. While I've been out of college for ages now, my brother is still in school, and I often think of going back. "It's so horrible, that could happen anywhere, that could have been you or your brother" she said with a very genuine sounding worry in her voice. |
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